Spiderman XXX (2011)

One seriously iconic scene just became… iconic-er.
     Remember in the first Spiderman movie, the moment where everyone’s favorite webslinger lowers himself from a fire escape to kiss the heroine on the lips?
     Imagine if he’d continued lowering himself.
     Axel Braun did.
     Spiderman XXX: A Porn Parody is not the first comic book reimagining to hit the screens with a great sticky splodge, but it might be the best so far. Less indebted to the comic book than it is the more recent movies, the casting is spot-on, with even the mainstream comic forums remarking on the improvements this crew offers on the mainstream stars. So, Xander Corvus plays a seriously well-hung Spidey, Capri Anderson simmers as long-time love interest Mary Jane, Ash Hollywood is a spot-on (but sadly under-used… in every sense of the word) Gwen Stacey… but it’s the supporting characters who will get the Spiderfan’s blood pumping, as Aunt May, J Jonah Jameson and even Doctor Octopus take turns to appear, and please tell me that nobody out there has ever fantasized seeing that trio doing the dirty on film?
     It’s okay, we don’t (although the comic book accompanying the DVD does include one nothing-left-to-the-imagination scene with May and Uncle Ben). What we do get, though, is a fabulously realized threesome between Flash (Seth Dickens), MJ and Gwen; the Black Widow fucking Spiderman’s brains out, before giving him head (instead, one presumes, of biting his off); and some genuinely sizzling action from Electro (Dick Delaware), as he grinds out his passions on a suitably slutty prostitute, and then zaps her with a lethal dose of electric cum.
     Yes, the special effects here are both stunning and well-utilized, both in the sex scenes and the action sequences – of which there are sufficient for Braun to have included a non-sex version of the same film in the bonus features.
     The story, suitably, is straightforward enough. J Jonah is still waging his war against the costumed menace who he believes is behind the city’s entire crime wave; mild-mannered Peter Parker is the photographer whose exclusive shots allow JJ to illustrate his arachnophobic tirades. Just another normal day at the Daily Globe… until crime boss the King Pin hires Electro to undertake a special job – and all hell breaks loose around them. New York is plunged into a city-wide blackout, Spidey is recruited by the Avengers; the SHIELD warehouse is burgled and something top secret is stolen; and Doc Ock is looking for a room to rent. Oh, and there’s lso time for Robbie Robertson and Betty Brant to have some meaningful discussions about sexual harassment in the corridor outside the newspaper office.
     The scene that your mind will keep rewinding to, though, comes after Spiderman has saved Peter Parker’s girl from three marauding thugs, and she rewards him with a kiss that just goes deeper and deeper. A BJ from MJ… did JJ get the pics?
     I can’t wait for the sequel!
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s