Abducted by the Daleks (2005)

Friends and long-time visitors to my other blog will know I am hopelessly addicted to Doctor Who.  But I have my friend Dave Thompson to thank for this little nugget… an exclusive extract from his recent book Doctor Who FAQ

“In the world of fan video, Abducted By the Daleks is one of those peculiar little items whose premise is so absurd that the movie itself has taken on mythological qualities.  Released as a limited edition of one thousand DVDs in 2005, under the utterly unconvincingly disguise of Abducted by the Daloids, the 56 minute movie had scarcely even gone on sale before the BBC blasted it into oblivion, the extermination as thorough as it was merciless.

The credits role and for fans of the show, they are a laugh riot.  “Story by Billy Hartnell.  Produced by Patrick Baker.  Directed by Don Skaro.”  And the plot continues in similar footsteps.  Three young women, stumbling away from a fairly minor car wreck, find themselves alone in a dark wood, and therefore do what anybody would.  They remove all their clothing, and two of them fall into a soft-core clinch, just in time to be teleported to an orbiting Dalek spaceship.
It takes them a moment to realize what has happened; in fact, not until one of the Daleks audibly clears its throat in an attention-getting “ahem” kind of way do the two realize they are no longer in the woods.  They are however, still naked, which naturally (naturally) ensures a full body interrogation from the Daleks, and so it goes on (and on and on).
 
The Sun, an English newspaper of some repute, was first on the scene with news of the movie, and delivered its own succinct summary.  “”Dr Who’s foes capture three naked ‘disco babes’ in the 18-rated DVD. They chase the girls around their spaceship and grope them with their plungers.”  The last word, however, belonged to Tim Hancock, the director of Terry Nation’s estate.  “The reason the Daleks are still the most sinister thing in the universe,”he told The Sun, “is because…they weren’t ever intended to be sexual creatures. It’s simple, Daleks do not do porn.”
No.  But Billie Piper’s next TV role found her playing a high class call girl, so maybe the two universes are not that far removed from one another.”
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